athletically inclined

my eyes!

2009-03-09T06:42:00.000-07:00

sometimes you google something fairly innocently and find something you were truly not prepared for.

the next time i'm about to kiss someone i may instead throw up. thankyou internet.

not to be ungrateful but i wasn't asking for a favour...

2008-10-13T19:55:00.000-07:00

so my total came to $9.45 and you need to have a min $10 purchase to use eftpos. the lady tells me "don't worry about it", to which i reply "thanks. can i also get some cash out". she looks at me like i've perhaps just admitted to being involved in a hit and run and says "you need a minimum of $10. and it's the first thing in the morning! we don't have enough transactions at this point to be giving cash out". we complete the purchase and there are smiles and whatnot on both sides (it's 2 steps from my office. i can't throw down here). but i'm thinking, aren't you a business that operates under the agreement that people can get cash out, so therefore do you not have a float of some sort to allow for this, and i needed cash so i would have happily bought some bullshit piece of gum/envelope type item to get over the $10 mark and NOT TO BE UNGRATEFUL BUT I WASN'T ASKING FOR A FAVOUR.

well played genius

2008-09-28T21:20:00.000-07:00

so it's a public holiday and we have a staff meeting scheduled for 9am and i'm staring at a shitload of marking. all in all this does not equate to me being especially cheery. add to this the fact that only bookmark is open today so i go there to get coffee etc. and i'm in the line and once you order you have to move to the pay queue. some people are waiting for food still so you need to squeeze past them. dude on the end, let's call him DICKFACE WHO NEEDS TO WAKE THE HELL UP AND MAYBE TAKE OFF THOSE SUNGLASSES BECAUSE YOU'RE INDOORS, OH YEAH, AND YOU'RE WHITE! ONLY RAPPERS WHO HAD THEIR HEYDAY IN THE 90S AND THE LEGALLY BLIND SHOULD DO THAT. so yeah he's standing there leaning back on the bar with his knee stuck out, staring at me. and when he sees me moving past he keeps his friggin leg there and then gets pissed off and rolls his eyes while smirking when i step on both of his feet accidentally and apologise. at that point if i was wearing stiletto footwear i would have loved to ram them through his ill-positioned sneakered feet. or you know, through his skull. let's see you smirk then boy wonder. AAUUUUGGGHHHH dumbass!!!!!!

EB, not the beer

2008-08-18T19:16:00.000-07:00

ELAINE BROWN. ELAINE BROWN POSTED A COMMENT ON MY BLOG!!
i hadn't been to this page for a while but then i saw mysterious new comments had appeared. by none other than the aforementioned mrs. this has lead to this rather immediate post. where i now realise i have nothing else to say.

except that the letterman repeats are seriously bugging me, particularly the fact that they're not even from a decent amount of time ago but are from maybe 1 month back. i have a theory that it's olympics related. hmmm.

lost mind. need sleep.

2008-06-23T20:13:00.000-07:00

so last night i was watching letterman and i laughed at 90% of the jokes. i even cared to see whether or not the wine bottle would float. this is obviously not a good state to be in and i can only think to blame the lack of regular sleep on my fondness for david L making fun of interns. i also decided to test my new electric mixer and make cupcakes at about 10.30. not having one for a very long time i forgot how noisy they are, but after starting i had clearly committed to the cause and so had to continue despite being fairly certain you could hear the churning throughout the entire building. then i figured it's not like i have crazy parties in my one-woman abode so that's probably bought me up some late night electric mixing time. but it probably doesn't help that the night before i made margaritas in my mega ice churning blender at around the same time.

anyway the cupcakes were really average, the recipe was too doughy and now i regret going for the one with the most basic ingredient list. it's much too patty cake for my liking. then i thought i'd make ganache from memory. which actually wasn't such a failed mission but the cupcakes really weren't worth trying to save. i now have 14 lopsided dough balls with ganache and cute metallic looking pearl decorations that i will most likely have to throw out. i've brought some to work to see if anyone's game but it looks like one big 'pass' will be coming my cupcakes way.

when you can't hide the dark circles under your eyes at 9am it's not looking good for 5pm after a day of computer screen glare

2008-06-22T21:16:00.000-07:00

last night dinner at prophet was so so good. all i can think about right now is hummus. and maybe one miss brown who was a little protective of that dish. scarily so.

saw the happening on the weekend finally. was kind of a strange movie. on one hand it's a far fetched premise, although on the other hand i was talking to vicky last night about how we are living in the time where effects of global warming are becoming increasingly apparent and that made me think more about the movie and the fact that as 'far fetched' as the concept is it's a really nice parallel that the writers have put together. zooey deschanel is great, she has that semi ethereal quality that the leading ladies in these movies seem to have - mainly howard jnr. mark wahlberg feels really strangely cast though. this isn't a dismissive comment on the grounds of him not being a good enough actor because i think people are far to quick to think rockstar and the funky bunch and forget about boogie nights, the yards, the departed (oscar nominated?), we own the night and even stuff like fear. so while i do think he's a solid actor i do think he seemed so out of place with the dialogue of the movie. during the pharmacy stuff i kept thinking edward norton, it should be edward norton.

so the movie wasn't as scary as i thought it would be and the foot cam was a bit much in that one scene, but the general quietness of the death scenes was great. and mrs jones...that admittedly was freakin terrifying. the little girl in it was really good too, i actually didn't realise she doesn't speak until that one line when she did - i think that whole concept of silent actors is something that's hard to do well but she was really good and so young too!

i can't decide what i thought of the ending. i like the reporter comments and i think the standing on the stoop stuff is cute - not in a cheesy way but mainly because of how cute zooey deschanel is it just seems really sweet, but the repeat thing was maybe not quite right? but i have no idea how else you could do it so i'm thinking as i have no alternative suggestions i should just shut up.

marriage

2008-06-09T23:52:00.000-07:00

i went to a hens night on the weekend which was really more of a hens afternoon as it took place during the day. this made me think about marriage as the wedding is next week. while normally it's not something i'm in favour of i have discovered the very cute johnny cupcakes brand (and man)

and these cupcakes

despite knowing nothing about him other than reading a blogpost about a lemonade stand i think i would marry him and then serve up these cupcakes (obviously in place of a 'real' cake) in a heartbeat if given the chance.

predominantly for the ability to have mail sent to me as 'mrs cupcakes'.

*yes i realise it's the name of a brand and not a person but this whole blog is rooted in fiction anyway ok.

notes

2008-06-08T20:24:00.000-07:00

2008-06-03T20:18:00.000-07:00

why won't you approve my application to raise my visa limit?

is it because i was irresponsible with purchasing my shares in
miramax? roger ebert predicted that scary movie 4 would be a
breakthrough hit, how was i to know he was smoking crack?

one ill considered move and that's it, you know vince vaughn doesn't want a bitch that isn't self sufficient. olivia benson said i wouldn't have to turn tricks anymore. i'm not the young pup i was in 2006, playing dead is hard on my knees.

test one two, test. one. two.

2008-05-27T02:10:00.000-07:00

with a side of

2008-05-20T19:08:00.000-07:00

last night i was getting takeout at sparrow and overheard a conversation between a couple obviously on a date that involved the girl saying the word bacteria no less than 7 times in about 4 minutes. it may have actually been more but i was a bit grossed out and also laughing really hard so i couldn't keep counting. it was relatively early so the place was pretty quiet but every table could hear this (she was also not speaking softly).

so after the conversation about how bacteria breeds and how gravy is the worst place for it to fester they turn to a slightly different topic. i tuned out a bit but i gather it was about something slightly gross because then the girl says 'i mean, as if i want to hear about that while i'm eating dinner'.

you can't stop the music!

2008-02-28T18:52:00.000-08:00

earlier in the week i started listening to all of these bands that for some reason or another i had given up due to unfortunate relationship incidences. but then i decided i wasn't going to forfeit partial custody of my music library, so it became the week of taking it back. although it did raise some issues. like why did i ever think it was a good idea to get involved with a guy that i associate with keith sweat's 'twisted'. i don't even think i can blame the fact that it was the 90s. and on a similar note...rancid...i think jerkface can keep them.

today i brought headphones to work cause listening to music on one volume bar with my face crammed up close to the speaker isn't exactly ideal. so now i am BLARING angry girl music into my ears inspired by a relationship crisis of another kind.

on a less bitter note i discovered food paradise last night in the form of a local indian joint i will soon be moving into. plus next door is a deli that sells fancy ice cream. maggie beer is the elderflower paved path to happiness!

i have to go shoe shopping tonight, after much consideration and attempting i have realised that i just don't think there is any way i'm going to be able to wear sneakers (albeit fancy ones) to pauline and ant's wedding on sunday. why did i leave it till yesterday to start thinking about what i should wear. why am i not a regular girl that owns at least 1 pair of fancy shoes. why did i enforce so heavily my assertion that 'if i can't wear sneakers i'm not going' in day to day and night to night life. would it have killed me at some point to keep a pair of heels from my 16-20 year old hey days. or heaven forbid to buy a pair of non rubber based shoes some time in the last 4 years.

mental space

2008-02-21T21:22:00.000-08:00

ok i have moved offices, and while it is awesome to be away from the crazy land i previously inhabited the spot i have moved to has come with it's own set of issues. namely the fact that the walls appear to be made out of cardboard. and not the heavy duty packing box kind. we are talking 4 sheet pasteboard. you know, where it kind of gives the impression of being solid board but upon closer examination you realise it's bendy. so i can essentially hear EVERY wood my neighbours say. what's worse is that it's amplified. which in turn means they can hear every word I say. now normally eavesdropping would be fun, but here's the thing. 1. they are boring and rarely talk. 2. i talk alot and with reckless abandon. so job dissatisfaction, the phrase 'students are such assholes', and the words 'previously on veronica mars' (hey, dvds help me to CONCENTRATE ok, white noise people!) are all unfortunately coming through loud and clear onto their sides of the office 'walls'. so i conclude it is really more about offering some sort of mental space rather than a clearly defined physical area. i am almost certain this will lead to my eventual demise in the building. sabotaging team moral apparently does not end in raises.

nor does playing the gossip really loudly. but you know what, beth is rad and sometimes screaming out the numbers 1,2,3,4 is just what you need on a friday afternoon.

i dislike of montreal. almost as much as i dislike you.

2008-02-17T22:05:00.000-08:00

i have no hot water

2008-02-11T17:07:00.000-08:00

and i haven't since last thursday night. plus my car is broken and i've been told to minimise driving and to under no circumstances turn the air con on. which would be fine in say any of months from march through october. but right now it's 35+ and i park on the street/outdoors both at home and work. my car is therefore some sort of portable tincan sauna. and even with the windows completely down it seems no air can actually penetrate! this is doing nothing for my love-o-summer. or total lack thereof. my car was just in for a service 2 weeks ago...how could they miss this! the phrase 'don't turn on the aircon because something in the engine could explode' was used over the phone. oh and the brakes screech like hell!

meanwhile this valentines day my only appointment is now with my mechanic. and calling him 'my' mechanic is really a stretch as for the life of me i couldn't with any certainty tell you his name. i think it's joe.

i should highlight that i'm not self obsessed and the reason i don't know his name is because my dad has stepped in to help with mechanic issues after watching a today tonight report on how women are getting ripped off by mechanics. therefore 'joe' and i have had no real time to bond. meanwhile i stumbled into a similar situation of ineptness (on my part) yesterday on the phone with a plumber,
PLUMBER: "what's the problem"
ME: "i don't have any hot water"
PLUMBER: "yeah"
(pause. a long one.)
ME:" yyyyeah"
PLUMBER: "well what kind is it"
ME: "yeah i have no clue at all about this stuff, i won't even pretend i do"
(another exceedingly long pause)
ME: "well what do you mean?"
PLUMBER: "what kind is it. is it gas or electric"
ME: "yeah the landlord didn't even know so i've really got no clue".
PLUMBER NOW BUILDS IN A DISAPPROVING/JUDGEMENTAL SILENCE WHILE IMPLYING HE IS VERY BUSY AND HAS BETTER THINGS TO DO.

between the year long construction, the ongoing plumbing issues and the newly established bug problem (specifically of the spider persuasion) i'm really so so glad that i overpay for this crap den.

temperamental princess

2008-02-10T17:46:00.000-08:00

diana has been put on a pedestal in my camera collection. she is being taken down now after i realise i have possibly shot the majority of a 16 roll film on pinhole mode. while technically this may be my fault i just seem to have such shit luck with this camera. i'm about 3/4 rolls into it and nothing remotely attractive has presented itself. never before has it taken so long to get the hang of a new toy! when diana stops being a bitch i will post some pictures. hold your collective breath ok.

weird

2008-01-28T19:20:00.001-08:00

yesterday i found out a guy i know died on australia day. he was 28 and it was a car crash. i don't know the details but i think maybe speeding or something was involved. i hadn't seen him in a while but it's so strange to think that he's gone. his family were really close and i feel so sad for them.

the gossip. front row. centre stage. me.

2007-12-13T18:42:00.001-08:00

the blog is back people! all 3 of you who actually read this thing can free yourselves from what i'm sure was months of anticipation regarding a new post.

BETH DITTO! the gossip!!
actually i don't even think i can blog yet. i'm too excited still.
it's too much to process at this stage. proximity to miss ditto has clouded my ability to write well formed sentences.

GUSH.

less manic anger

2007-09-03T23:01:00.000-07:00

funny notes from the last week...

on saturday i looked out of my window and saw a giant blimp being loaded into a truck through this big coiled wire system. i have no idea what it was for or why the hell it was being loaded into a truck from my neighbouring apartments driveway.

sunday at 11.30pm a car pulls up into this same driveway and starts playing ridiculously loud hardcore dance music. this music is penetrating their car windows and my 3rd floor apartment windows and is still loud. who is this person? do they think this is in any way cool? IT ISN'T YOU FUCKER.

i have a $355 US wish list on lomo right now. i am penny pinching so i can make the purchase in the next few days.
even with that this is way more than i should spend.
i don't quite care.
until i see the bank balance i am not seeing the reality of the cash handover.

frustration

2007-09-03T18:22:00.000-07:00

i am too angry to even type. i want to stab someone. or watch super aggressive horror movies.
people are so fucking lame. i want to move somewhere where i don't speak the language so i can become a non productive member of society. i cannot leave my office right now, i would seriously ram this pencil to my left into someone's throat if i had to walk out right now.

stolen hubcaps and the noteworthy

2007-08-12T18:16:00.000-07:00

i had lost one hubcap in an unfortunate curb estimation a while back, now 2 of my other hubcaps have been STOLEN cause i have to park outside my apartment due to loved up couple with their huge van that while technically wouldn't be considered to be double parked, but that i can't fit next too as my car door can't open if we both park inside. who the hell in my neighbourhood is swiping hubcaps?!!

i miss new york undercover. i miss the cute cop who is now 48 but i would still want to date.
i knew that was him on numb3rs last week, i am really pleased to have a reason to be on the imdb and for that reason to not involve searching ex-full house people.

i fucking hate 90% of what is going on right now, right now.

trying to think of a title makes me panic

2007-08-08T02:10:00.000-07:00

this seems to have morphed into a chaotically stressful week. i can't even really pinpoint why. and every time that i want to blog i am nowhere near a computer and then when i am i'm too busy to blog.

but i think i need to write some things down so i'm writing this to remind myself to blog something tomorrow.

i have to go to a highly suspicious business meeting now...i suspect the content will be something that starts with pyramid and ends in scheme. i am practicing my polite 'sorry....' now. i also have a backup plan where i make a violently loud moralistic outburst in dome, quite possibly adding in a smashed coffee cup for dramatic effect.

seriously.

2007-08-07T00:33:00.001-07:00

just another manic monday.

2007-07-31T00:26:00.001-07:00

last night i went to the unannounced show by eskimo joe, it was at rosemount and was awesome because i have cemented my hermit ways and have bailed on alot of gigs i wanted to go to (dinosaur jr. sigh!) purely cause i couldn't deal with crowds right now but this was low key which is the best time to be at rosemount. i was second row so i could actually see something - my last rosemount experience was that night we went to the grates and that weird tall guy pushed right into me and then just stood in front of me and that freakin gross man kept touching me and it was capacity plus and i stared angrily at the back of people's shirts thinking about the small gig when we saw them at amps.

anyway, last night all of the photographer types were in the front row and i wish i took my lomo now cause i need to take some shots for this thing and i was in such a great spot to take pics. although the flash on it is more than slightly blinding and that might not have gone down so well in the whole mellow-ish scheme of things.

went with vicki etc. moving on to the moon after, but then i got home late and had to be at work by 7.45 for an 8 class today, i woke up at 5 in the strangest position, sleeping diagonally in alot of pain. then i fell asleep again, slept through my alarm, woke up at 7.10 and had this mad panic trying to get ready for work while not being able to stand up properly. uurrgh.

btw - kat i had another awkward social run in, however i think this one was worse because no conversation was involved, just a hell of alot of accidental eye contact and mildly curious staring with some boy in a scarf.

right now i am so tired i feel like crawling under my desk to sneak a nap in, sadly an unfortunate amount of work and fellow coworkers is preventing this from happening.

the things that accumulated on my desktop, they made me smile and i could never get rid of them.

2007-07-30T21:46:00.000-07:00

awesome typography from cam

what a gentleman!

this look is so sexy it took me a significantly long amount of time to go back to work after seeing this boy.

wait for it...

shazam!
i want to style my dad like this when he reaches this age.
or even now.
i'm gonna bring this up when i borrow that power drill tomorrow.

just funny. laugh out loud funny actually. my 'crazy weirdo in the office' reputation was cemented with this laughing outburst.